Why I’m Jealous of Non-Runners
Allegedly, I love running. Why would I ever be jealous of non-runners? People are “jealous” of my will-power, my dedication, my… whatever. No no, don’t be jealous of me. I’m jealous of you.
J was working on a project for a running brand a couple months ago and was obviously chatting with me about it because, running. He said there are basically two types of people – those who “have to run” and those who “need to run”. The people who have to run, he said, are the people who wear the “I Hate Running” shirts and actually mean it.
The people who need to run are people like me who get cranky and bitchy and irritable if they don’t run. In our heads, we start getting muscle atrophy after not running for more than two days. (I actually thought I was getting muscle atrophy in Europe like 7 years ago when the airline lost my bag with my running shoes in… I cried every night.)
So why am I jealous of non-runners? On average, I spend roughly eight hours a week running. That’s an entire workday. I can tell you the last time I slept in on a Saturday and didn’t do a long run was the last time I was in Portland. That is literally the last Saturday I didn’t run at least 13 miles. My alarm goes off anywhere between 6-7 a.m. on a Saturday morning and if all goes according to plan, I’m out the door by 8 a.m. What does a non-runner do on Saturday morning? I have no idea, but probably it involves sleeping, relaxing and eating a bagel.
When I’m not running, I’m probably thinking about running or doing something related to running. Yoga, despite the fact that I love it, is a necessity for my ever-tight hips and calves that just want to bulk up. There’s another four hours a week for at least three classes. My goal for October is to actually cross-train (i.e. swim and bike), so there is another three hours a week. Can’t forget strength training – two more hours. We’re at about 16 hours a week working out, which basically means I’m working a full-time job seven days a week at this point.
People think running is cheap, but it isn’t. Most races are at least $100. I go through four or five pairs of running shoes a year, which we’ll round up to $1000 total. Since I do love fashion despite my penchant for denim shorties and racerback tanks in the summer, I have an addiction to Lululemon and Nike which is not cheap. (Speed Shorts & Dry Fit for life.)
Non-runners don’t know what it is like to be constantly hungry. Runger is this crazy, knawing type of hunger that is all-consuming. When I wasn’t running a lot two years ago (maybe 12-15 miles a week, tops) I just didn’t have an appetite. It was kind of wonderful. I ate when I felt like it, I didn’t eat when I didn’t feel like it, and I just wasn’t constantly worried about my next meal.
Let’s take a minute to discuss the current state of my body. My toes on my right foot are constantly in pain. I had a super cool blood blister on my foot since sometime in July. I don’t know what it’s like to not have legs that are a little tired all the time. My once sufficient seven hours of sleep have now been replaced by at least eight. Oh, and should we discuss the water retention?
The past few weeks I’ve hit the wall training. This morning (Monday morning) I had a great pace run (I typically do 8 miles in between my half-marathon and marathon pace, aiming for negative splits), I was having fun and felt good again. The two weeks previous, I couldn’t force myself out the door. Emily is constantly the kick in the ass that I need, which is why I love her so damn much:
Last Monday, I couldn’t do it. I made it out the door, on the trail, and my legs did not want to move. I was angry at a lot of things that morning, stressed out over stuff I needed to get done and the last thing I wanted to do was go spend over an hour running before work. I decided a half mile in I was over it and turned around. My mood and spirit suddenly lifted. Maybe that was what I needed, just an extra day off running.
People often say, “skip your workout, it’s just one day, what will it hurt”. Well, if I skipped my workout or run everyday that I wanted to (i.e. at least once a week) it would start to hurt my running performance. One every month or so, okay. One every week, no. Sorry, that advice is bad.
In summation, don’t be jealous of me. I’m jealous of you. I’m jealous of knowing what it’s like to have a morning all to yourself to do something besides run. I’m jealous of the fact that you don’t have to carry snacks in your bag lest the runger hits. I’m jealous that your body isn’t rebelling against you. I’m jealous of the freedom that not running allows you.
Chat with me:
Who/what are you jealous of? Are you a runner who’s jealous of a non-runner? Are you a non-runner who is jealous of runners? Is the grass just always greener on the other side? (Typically.)